Ideas for Surviving Summer at Home with the Kids

Ah summer! - lazy days by the pool, cook-outs, water fights, reading books in the shade of a tree, hearing the sweet song of children whining "I'm bored!" or "I don't want to!" or "I barely touched him!" Yeah. Sometimes Summer is not so fun.

When I have our summer days planned out, our days go so much better, with less fighting and button pushing. Here are some things we do to help smooth out the rough spots that can happen in a home-together-all-the-time family.

(All families are different, but these suggestions have worked for my kids (ages 11, 9, 7, and 4) who are all of the rough and tumble, run-around-the-house-yelling type)


Don't Give Up Having a Schedule

It can be tempting during the summer to just let the kids get up whenever they want, get dressed whenever they want, do whatever they want . . . but we don't. For the sake of our family harmony, I give my kids (young ones especially) a schedule. Kids thrive on schedules. I don't have every minute of every hour planned out, but during the summer it helps us to have a plan of how the day is going to go and I share that plan with my kids. This helps them know what to expect, and helps my child who has trouble transitioning from one activity to another.  My kids need to move the pieces on their chore charts during the day in order to be able to do fun things with the family in the afternoon. You can click the link to read more about our Summer Schedule.



Have an Incentive for Good Behavior


Sometimes my kids need a reason to get along with each other. I've found rewarding my kids for showing consideration and kindness to their siblings works better than punishing when they are mean and selfish. We often use this Lego House to encourage positive sibling relations, and we will be bringing it out again when summer starts. Another incentive that has worked well for us is this pom-pom jar.





Have an Incentive for Summer Reading


When my kids are excited about summer reading, I am guaranteed to have some QUIET in my house every once and a while during the summer.

There are free summer reading programs at libraries and bookstores, but we like to do a family one too! I love doing summer reading with my kids. I usually create summer reading coupons that they earn by reading books. They write down the book they read and receive a coupon for money (dimes and quarters, usually), or ice cream, or a new book, or a prize from the prize basket, etc . . . We do something different each year. We've done game boards, a summer beach scene, a balloon pop, and bookworms. The kids love seeing what we are going to do each year!

Clearly this works best with independent readers, but for my preschoolers who were just learning to read and wanted to participate, I would do a literacy activity with them and let them count it as reading a book.


Set Summer Objectives 

I get overwhelmed when I think of all the fun options there for us to do during the summer. There are so many fun ideas for summer activities and sometimes when I look around on Pinterest I feel like I'm failing as a mother if I'm not doing them all for my kids.

To overcome this, I have to focus on what I really want out of the summer. For me, I just want time with the kids. I want to do something special with each of them, so I ask them for one thing they would like to do with me during the summer. If we get that done, it's a victory.

Another thing we do is come up with a summer fun list; some people call this their summer bucket list. At the beginning of our summer, we ask the kids for ideas of what they'd like to do and we add them to a list (if they're reasonable). We try to keep our list short. Some of these things we wait and do with dad, and some we can do at home. Once upon a time, I cut up slips of paper with some of our fun items on it such as "make ice cream sandwiches" or "make lemonade". I'd put these in our "summer fun jar" and when the kids were done with school and chores in the morning, we would draw one out and do that for our afternoon activity. It worked well.


Lower Your Expectations

Life with kids is always unpredictable. Sometimes my perfectly planned activities flop. Sometimes we only get 1/2 of our summer fun list done. My house is messier and noisier during the summer. I have to remind myself to just relax and go with the flow and then we will have a much happier summer.


Limit electronic entertainment devices 

I've found that relying on electronic devices to keep my kids occupied works against me. It makes my job as a parent HARDER in the long run, not easier. This is why:

a. Those activities are self-centered activities, and my kids come out of the experience feeling more selfish than before, which results in less tolerance for siblings and more anger centered on mom/dad who made them stop the entertainment. Some kids are more susceptible to this than others. My son is a different person after he watches tv or has been playing a video game for a while. He is less cooperative and meaner to his siblings. It's crazy how much it affects him.

b. Entertainment keeps kids from wondering and thinking and imagining. With TV, video games, movies, etc . . . the thrill comes easily, without much work on the kids part. When I've been sick and/or busy and have had to rely on electronics, and my kids are used to them, coming up with ideas of things to do on their own is harder. I am a lot more likely to hear "I'm bored" from my kids when they've had too much screen time in their life. It always takes them a while to adjust back to coming up with things on their own when we get rid of the devices again.

During the summer, we try not to do screen time unless it's a special movie day, or I'm sick and need to have quiet so I can nap. But really, there are so many other fun things to do that wasting time on devices is not how we want to spend our summer!

I hope some of these thoughts will be useful in helping your family get along this summer.
How do you help things go smoothly during the summer? I'd love to hear your ideas in the comments! 

This post is part of the "Summer Survival Series for Moms of Boys". All through the summer you can find tips, activities, and recipes over at "The Joys of Boys".

Also be sure to check out my Pinterest board for more parenting ideas and summer fun!

Follow Erin@Chicken Babies's board Summer Fun with Kids on Pinterest.

Scheduling Summer Days with Kids Home

Our Summer vacation is quickly approaching, and I've been thinking more about a plan of attack for keeping kids happy and making sure our home is still a pleasant place to be. One thing we do to keep things running smoothly is to keep a schedule.

I don't have every minute of every hour planned out, but during the summer it helps to plan a general idea of how the day is going to go.

I plan our days in chunks. Here's how it works for us in the summer:

Morning chunk - My kids have a checklist of things they are to complete for their "morning jobs". I give them a certain time this needs to be done by. Their tasks include: get dressed, fix hair, make bed, read scriptures 10 minutes, say prayers, eat breakfast (and clean up after yourself), brush teeth, and check bathroom to make sure it's clean.

School chunk - We continue school through the summer. We don't do a lot, but the kids need to do some math, some writing, and practicing every day. Then we alternate days doing things like typing, music theory, and nonfiction reading. There will be some days during the summer when this school chunk will consist of swim lessons and music lessons. The kids also do chores (such as laundry) if assigned.

Lunch chunk - We make lunch and clean it up together. This summer I'm looking forward to giving Maren (11) and Joshua (9) more responsibility in making lunch for the family. And they enjoy preparing meals too.

Afternoon chunk - Free time. This is where the kids get to do the "summer" stuff if they've done all their morning work and school. (If they finish their school early, they have time before lunch too.) The kids will have time to play together, create things, invent things, play with friends, and we'll probably go to the swimming pool a fair amount of time as well. I also will send my kids to their rooms for some "quiet time", usually in the later afternoon when everybody's tired and needs some time alone. This is when we will check off things from our "summer fun list" as well.

Clean-up Chunk - This is the time when the kids supposedly do chores around the house. We'll see if I can get it working this summer. I understand my kids' need to have messes, which sounds strange, but it's how I function as well. I can't create and complete a project and clean it up all in one day, and my kids' projects and plays and dress-up stories are usually not finished in one day either. I have a hard time making them clean up things that they want to continue with the next day, so I don't. We always do a big clean up on Saturday, but the rest of the week we just do little clean ups. But if there is something they are definitely done with, it gets cleaned up.

Dinner Chunk (around 6)- same as lunch

Nighttime Chunk - Daddy is home (hopefully) and we have time to play together more during the summer. The kids have later bedtimes than during the school year and I'm looking forward to having more time being together as a family.

Having chunks rather than set times makes it easy to adjust things when conflicts come up. If we have something else going on in the morning, we just move the school chunk to later in the day, or get rid of it. We can be flexible like that.

How do you schedule your summer days?

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10 Ways to Help Kids Practice

Music is a fantastic way to help your child grow. There are many articles out on the web about the importance and benefits of a musical education, and that's not what this post is about, but I hope you will think seriously about what music can do to enhance your child's life.

One of the reasons parents stop music lessons for their kids is because getting kids to practice can be hard and not fun. We get tired of the constant battle and ultimately decide it's not worth the fighting. I'm going to share some things we've done in our house to help cut down on the fighting and make practicing less of a chore. 

As a side note, I'm not a 'tiger mother'. I don't expect my kids to be concert soloists and make a career from their awesome skills. My goal in having my children musically trained is that it will enrich their lives and give them an outlet to express themselves and opportunities to serve others through performing. I don't believe in yelling and pushing and forcing until your kids are about to break. 

Music Education has been an important part of my life and my children's lives, and I hope these ideas will help you as you try to help your child learn a musical instrument. 

Here are 10 tips to help practice time easier:

1. Start lessons when they are ready

Starting formal music lessons when kids are too little works against you. I think most teachers say they're ready to read music when they're ready to read books. You can still teach basic music concepts, such as fast/slow, high/low, and have them match pitches and rhythms, but wait on the instrument playing until their a little older. I started Maren on piano when she was 4 1/2. I was crazy. It wasn't worth it. I started Christopher when he was 6 1/2.  He learned much easier and with less crying. If you want to give your kids an early start in music, sing to them. A lot. 

Here are my 2 boys before a choir concert. Singing is a great way to start music education.

2. Set a number of times to play each song rather than a number of minutes to practice

For my beginning pianists, I've always found it more helpful to set a number of times they had to play each song than to set a number of minutes to play. If I set a timer, they sit on the bench and fool around. If I tell them they need to play each song 3 times, they get to work. (for my older kids, I still do a number of minutes) It's also important to patiently practice with your child when they are first learning. 

I like to set out a container for them to fill with beans. Each time they play through a song, they put a bean in the jar. When the jar has reached a certain point, they get a prize.

Also, another thing I've found is that however you have them practice, set clear expectations. For my older kids, they know how long they are supposed to do scales/warm ups, how long to review songs and what songs to review, and how long to spend on new songs. This helps focus their practicing time.

3. Use incentive charts

I love sticker charts. I just do. Make a chart. Let them put on a sticker when they're done practicing. Reward for a filled up chart. Good stuff. The teacher my children have also rewards them for completing books or memorizing difficult songs. She's big into incentives. Maybe that's why I like her so much. 

Eventually, rewards will become more intrinsic as kids learn the joy of making music and learning hard things, but when they're little they need a push to help them get there. 

An excerpt from Joshua's journal. He has learned to feel proud about his piano playing
which makes me a very proud mom!

4. Try the "chocolate chip" game

We play this game when my kids are trying to polish something for a recital or competition. I set out 10 chocolate chips (pennies can also be used). They play through their song. Each time they make a mistake, I take away one chip. At the end of the song, they get to keep whatever chips remain. Sometimes with the older kids, I only set out 5, or I only set out 1 thing but it's bigger, like a starburst. That way they have to play the song perfectly in order to get a reward. And I've been known to take chips away for missing dynamic markings too. 

This is highly motivating for my kids for some reason. It's not like they're sugar deprived. Usually I have them practice the song many times before I come in to do the game. When they know they're practicing to get ready for this game, their practicing is much more careful and focused. It's good stuff. 

5. Don't be a backseat player

This tip is for when your kids are older and you're no longer practicing with them. Don't yell from the other room every time you hear a wrong note played. It's so hard when you're trying to learn something new to have someone constantly point out when you mess up. It just ends in frustration and makes the child not want to practice when you're listening. I've learned this from experience. I used to yell from the kitchen all the time when I heard a missed note or repeated mistakes. My kids would just get angry at me. It wasn't helpful. 

I've learned to just wait for them to ask for help. Sometimes I can't wait, and then I'll ask "Do you want some help with that?" and they'll either tell me yes or no. Then I can go in and help without upsetting them more. 

6. Compliment before you criticize

If you do need to correct something, tell them what they are doing right first. Say something like "I like listening to you play. I wonder how it would sound if you tried adding in dynamics?" or "That sounds like a fun piece and I like how you are working on it slowly. Are you sure you're getting the notes right in that second measure though?"

Maybe this isn't your style, or you think your kids don't need coddling and you just tell them bluntly when they're doing a bad job. That doesn't work for my kids, especially my second child. He takes it personally when I point something out that he's missed, so I always try to do this. 

If my child is not responding well to correction at the time, I just let it go. I let it be between him and his teacher and let her fix it and their next lesson. 

7. Give them ownership

Your child needs to want to learn to play a musical instrument. When they are little, expose them to lots of great music. Take them to concerts. Play music in the car. Show them that making music is fun. Children naturally love music, but lose the enthusiasm when practicing becomes a chore. 

Sometimes a break from an instrument is necessary. I know one boy who after a break from his piano for a while found he missed it and wanted to start taking lessons again. When he restarted, it was because he was interested in learning, not because his mom was making him, and practice time went much better. 

At the beginning of the year, I told Maren (age 11) that I was not going to comment on her violin practicing at all unless she asked me for help. I was turning the responsibility for learning her songs before her lesson over to her, and if she didn't work hard then the consequence would be an upset teacher at her next lesson and if things got really bad, we would stop paying for her lessons. This made Maren really think about whether or not she wanted to be playing the violin. She decided she did (thankfully) and has been much more independent in her practicing this year. Of course this could have backfired and she could've just quit. I'm glad that didn't happen. Probably in that scenario we would have just switched her to a different instrument.

Maren is learning to love her violin the more she plays it

8. Let them play with the music

In the past, whenever my son would start fooling around on the piano during his practice time, I would yell at him to get back to playing his assignments. I really regret that. It's important to let them experiment with their instrument. Let them play around and see what different sounds they can make. Let them play their songs with weird rhythms, or in different octaves. They're still learning about the instrument that way. They're being creative with it, and that's important. Music is not just about learning to play others work, but about creating your own music as well. 

Now when my son starts fooling around a bit, I let him. I enjoy listening to his creations. If he is taking a REALLY long time fooling around, I'll redirect him by asking "Do you know all the songs Ms. Ivy asked you to learn?" and he'll start practicing them again if he hasn't. But let your kids play around a bit. It's not going to hurt them and it will help them enjoy their instrument more. 

9. Set the example

I know not everyone has time to learn a musical instrument, but if you have one in the house and have a few minutes, let your kids see you sit down to practice. Show them how you fix your mistakes. Tell them how it makes you feel when you're learning a new song. Learn a duet together. Or have your child teach you what they are learning. 

About two years ago I wanted to take piano lessons. I started taking a few from my children's teacher here and there after my kids' lessons and would practice at home. I gave it up because I just didn't have time like I wanted, but I still sit down and play through songs when I have a minute. I know it's made an impact on Joshua. He has asked me when I'm going to start taking lessons again and has tried to play through some of the songs I'm working on. I know he likes listening to me practice.

10. Make it a habit/part of the family culture

This is probably the single most important thing we've done to cut down on the crying at our house over practicing. Practice time is so much easier than it used to be because it has become a habit. Our kids know that they don't get to do other things before their practicing is done; no tv, no video games, no soccer practice. They need to practice. It's just what we do. It took a while to get to this point, but it's so nice now that we're here.

Don't yell at them to practice. Just don't do it. Yelling is never helpful. If they choose not to practice, then they choose to miss out on things, and that's just their choice. They may cry and wail and gnash their teeth when they have to miss out on something because they didn't get their practicing done on time, but you just shake your head and sympathetically say "I know. I'm really sad you don't get to go either. I wish you would've practiced. Next time I'm sure you will not make this mistake." We had to do this a few weeks ago when Maren procrastinated her violin practicing and ran out of time before her activity. She begged and pleaded and asked if she could practice extra the next day, but because I had warned her when she got home from school that she would not be going if her practicing was not done, I felt I had to stick with my position. She was so angry, and there was much crying and door slamming. But later she came and apologized and recognized it was her own fault she didn't get to go. A few days later when Jason warned her to have her practicing done before an event, she responded "Don't worry Dad. I know. I learned my lesson." We'll see how long it sticks . . .

We ask our kids to practice every day except Sunday and the day their lesson is on, so 5 days a week. This has been enough for us. Our kids still play piano on Sunday, because they want to play the hymns and enjoy making music, but it's not "practice time". It's just making music. 

When Christopher (our 3rd child) started learning piano, he knew that practicing was just part of the deal. It has been so easy to have him practice because he's seen his two older siblings do it. He sees that it's part of our family culture and doesn't fight it. It's been great. 

How do you help your child practice? I'd love to hear your comments!

Teaching Kids to Build a Happy Home

This is a great way to help kids focus on treating each other kindly and doing service in the family.

There are times when my kids seem to delight in pushing each other's buttons. There's name calling, tattling, hitting, and lots of crying. It drives me crazy and I end up sending them to their rooms for hours just so I can escape it.

And why am I thinking about this? Could it be because spring break is coming up next week and with Maren home the dynamics of daily life change and I'm worrying about if I can stay sane?

Maybe.

Really, my kids are pretty good, but sometimes we have bad days. When the kids are too much in the habit of treating each other poorly, I know it's time to intervene. That's when I bring out our "Happy Home".

I posted about this when I first started the blog, but it was a long time ago and I thought I should repost it, because it's one of my favorite incentives and has worked so well to help get the kids back in the habit of treating each other kindly.

Our "Happy Home" is made out of Lego bricks. I build a house then take off some bricks - maybe about 50 - and put them in a jar by the house. When I first introduced the "Happy Home", I told the kids that it represents our family. Whenever they treat each other kindly by sharing, giving someone else the first turn, complimenting someone, helping someone with chores, or showing some other kindness, it makes our home a better place and builds up our home. In contrast, when we fight, call names, tattle, and are selfish it tears down our home and makes it a sadder place to be.

starting happy home

a finished happy home from 2010

Our goal is to build up our happy home and if they accomplish this we have some type of predetermined reward, such as going to a movie together or one of those pizza and game places. I give the kids a deadline - usually 4 weeks - and tell them we are going to try and build up our home by then. If I notice the kids doing something nice, I tell them to go put a brick on the home. The kids are not allowed to tell me they did something nice and should get to put a brick on, BUT they are allowed to tell me if one of the other kids does something nice for them and the other kid should get to put on a brick. Does that make sense? So they can't nominate themselves to put on a brick, but they can nominate a sibling who did something nice. This helps them focus more on their siblings and also it's an acceptable form of tattling.


When there is hitting or name calling or other offenses that make our home not a happy place, the offending child or children have to take bricks off the home. I make them take a brick off for tattling too. (Tattling is defined in our family as telling me something to try and get someone else in trouble. It doesn't count as tattling if someone is about to hurt themselves or others and the telling is to help keep people safe.)

It's IMPORTANT not to be angry when you ask someone to take a brick off the house. It is much more effective if you can show sorrow instead. Instead of yelling at them for doing something mean, say something like "Oh, I'm so sorry you chose to say that to your brother! I'm going to have to ask you to take off a brick because that is not how we want to treat each other in this family. I am sad that our house is not growing very fast. I  hope we can start doing a better job building it up so we can get our reward." Easier said then done, I know. I may have had to take off a brick or two from our happy home  for yelling as well. Also, time out in rooms after an especially bad moment works well for us to separate kids and let them settle down before interacting with each other again.

This is a great way to get the kids focused on creating positive interactions with each other. For the first couple weeks I usually have to remind the kids that I'm watching them for opportunities to put bricks on, and we keep the happy home in the kitchen so that it reminds us of our goal. After a while, however, they get in the habit of helping and saying nice things and it makes our house a much nicer place to be. We don't do this all the time, but it is a great thing to pull out every now and then when needed.

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Are there any tricks you have to help your kids get along? I'd love to hear about them! I'm always looking for new ways to teach the kids.

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Chore Charts/Laundry Schedule

This summer I decided to make chore charts for my kids.  It's good for them to have some structure to their days during our more relaxed summer, and they are getting older and able to do more things independently around the house to help out.

I cut some white vinyl with my silhouette machine and put it on a piece of sheet metal I had bought at Hobby Lobby.  I used tin snips to cut the metal.  I hammered the pieces of metal onto a tin board and attached it to our kitchen wall with command strips.  It has not fallen yet.  

I cut black vinyl for the chore icons and put them on little bottle cap decorations I found in the scrapbooking section at Hobby Lobby.  I used a glue dot to stick a magnet to the back.  

Maren likes to put "in progress" chores on the middle line

All the kids have a sun icon which represents morning jobs.  They are supposed to do the following first thing when they get up: make bed, get dressed, fix hair, brush teeth (after breakfast), read scriptures/write journal for 10 min, pray, check to make sure bathroom is tidy.  I have a laminated checklist in their rooms where they can check off these chores with a dry erase marker.

They also all have a music icon for their instrument practicing and a book icon for any summer school work I assign.  Once a week, Maren and Joshua also have a shirt icon to remind them to do their laundry.  The rotating icons which I change every 2 weeks are: breakfast dishes, lunch dishes, dinner dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, yard work, clean out car, and garbage/recycling.  I've been giving the person with breakfast dishes the lunch dishes also, since sometimes breakfast doesn't get cleaned up very well and then they can just do them all at lunchtime.  I have 2 yard workers to go out and do weeding or watering or whatever I need. 

We are 3 weeks in to using the charts and so far they are working great.  It's easy for me to see what people still need to do before they can play and who's in charge of what dishes, because I often forget.  And it helps remind the kids what they are supposed to be doing around the house.

Related to this, several months ago I made myself a laundry chart in the hope that it would help me not have 10 loads of laundry to do every saturday.  It has worked a little bit.  I have assigned Maren and Joshua days to do their own laundry, and when it's their day, I add the laundry icon to their chore board.  I'm apparently not as good at telling myself what to do as I am at bossing my kids around.  BUT, I am getting better at doing a bit of laundry each day and avoiding the saturday pile up. Now if only I could get it all put away . . .

"Love at Home" sign and activity

While Valentine’s Day is usually a time for romantic love, I like to concentrate on love in general, since we have little kids in the house.  

I made this sign to help us focus on God’s love for us and the love in our family.  It quotes one of my favorite songs, “Love at Home”. I took this phrase from the last verse, which is one of my favorites.  It says “Oh, there’s One who smiles on high, when there’s love at home.”

I painted a 12x12 board with pink paint and then just cut out the words on my silhouette and applied them.  I drilled some holes in the board and hung it from a ribbon. Not very fancy, but I like it fine.

I talked to the kids about how it makes God happy when we have a happy home, which can be achieved by being considerate of each other and serving each other in our family.  I told them that when I saw them doing something that helps bring love into our home, they could put up a paper heart.  

The kids were very excited to start.  The first morning at breakfast, I mentioned that we still needed spoons on the table, and the 3 older kids all jumped up from their seats and raced to the utensil drawer.  I then explained that we weren’t going to fight over who got to do service, and that it’s also creating love in our home when someone lets someone else do something they wanted to do. 

Originally I was writing on the hearts who had done what to get the heart as a record of the kind acts I was seeing, but I soon found that the kids thought it was some kind of a competition and I kept hearing “I have more hearts than you now!” which was not the intent of the activity.  So I had to explain that when the wall is full of hearts, we are all winners regardless of who did the most kind acts, and also that when you do a kind act to try and beat someone else it doesn’t really count.  Who knew this would be so complicated?  Now we just put up blank hearts, and I hope they have stopped keeping score.  

I think this will be a fun activity for us leading up to Valentine’s Day.  

9 innings of school

Last week, I was getting ready for an impromptu Cincinnati Reds party for our family for dinner (but that's another story).  I was also trying to get the kids to do their schoolwork, but they were not cooperating.  Since I had baseball on the brain, I thought to myself "maybe they'll do their work if I turn it into a baseball game somehow".

I quickly drew a scoreboard for each of the boys.  They were playing against me, not against each other. I filled up 9 of their work folders with schoolwork, and told them that each folder was like one baseball inning.

They could earn 3 runs per inning by doing their work without complaining, doing it neatly, and doing it quickly. However, I could also score runs each inning. Mommy would score when they complained, were sloppy, worked too slowly, or threw things (a too often occurrence in our schoolroom unfortunately).

I could not believe how well it worked.  The boys were excited and started right away. It was the easiest day of school we've had so far this year.  I got a couple of points for sloppy work, but other than that they "beat my head off" as Christopher likes to say.

The boys have asked that we play baseball every school day since then.  I need to look into making some more permanent scoreboards.  I'm sure it will lose it's magic at some point, but until then I shall enjoy the easy school days.  *contented sigh*

Family Economy

I know I don't post that much. Erin does such a great job, but I sure love reading about everything she's doing with her family, so I thought I'd share what we are going to do this year with our new "Family Economy."




I've got a new job system. I have been through many. I've liked all of them for their time and the ages of my kids. Then I get bored and uninspired and don't follow through and I need something new. I read the book "The Entitlement Trap" by Richard and Linda Eyre and was inspired by their family economy. Our family is going to implement a system of earning, saving, and spending money based on many of the ideas they presented in their book.

Each of the children can earn up to four tickets a day. The tickets are kept on the far right peg of a 5 peg board that was used for a job chart system called Accountable Kids. (That was a good one. We used that job chart for a long time.) The other 4 pegs are where they will hang the tickets after the job is completed.

The first ticket is put on after their "Morning Magic" is completed by 9am. This entails getting yourself up, making your bed, getting dressed, hair, breakfast, teeth, read scriptures, prayer, and ready for homeschool by 9am.

The second ticket is for practicing their instrument.

The third and fourth ticket are for two jobs that will rotate from month to month. That is why they are on sticky notes in the photo, so I can move them around.
The rotating jobs are :
Kitchen- empty dishwasher before breakfast and clear the table and load the dishes after dinner.
Trash/Laundry- On Monday, Wash, dry and put away clothes. On Thursday put the bins out to the curb in the morning and bring them back in at night. Also, take all trash out as needed.
Meal Helper- Help cook, set table or counter, get water for everyone.
Luke's helper- Play with Luke and help him with anything he needs as Mom asks.
Upstairs pick up- Check floor, counters, desks and put everything in its place.
Downstairs pick up- Check floor, counters, desks and put everything in its place.

At the end of the day, the child will put however many tickets they earned into a family bank (just a box.)
They do their jobs for the 5 weekdays and then Saturday is PAYDAY! We will pull the tickets out of the family bank and see how much they earned! The older boys (ages 8 and 9) are earning actual money that will be deposited into their checking accounts at Bank of America. They will pay tithing, put some money in savings, and the rest is for spending. The boys will be responsible from now on for purchasing their own shoes, clothes, entertainment, and gifts.
Eliza (age 5) is earning money to buy a vending machine to put into my husband's store. After she pays that off, she'll probably save up her tickets for specific toys she wants, or TV watching privileges or something. I don't know quite what yet.

I'm looking forward to more help around the house and for the kids to really feel ownership of their money and their things.

Cleaning up the Zoo (a.k.a. our house)

I've been wanting to implement a cleaning system with our kids for a while now but just haven't been able to get it done. With the new school year starting soon, I thought this would be a perfect time to help the kids get into a cleaning routine.

When reading a blog post on Chocolate on my Cranium, I saw that she assigns zones for her children to clean each day.  I liked that idea, but wanted to think of some way to make it sound a bit fun to the kids.  Ya know, 'cause I like to complicate things.  I decided since our house often seems like a zoo anyway, we'd just go with that theme.

I made a map of the downstairs of our house and labeled the rooms as areas of the zoo.


I made little square animal pictures to represent each person in the family.  The kids enjoyed picking out what zoo animal they wanted to be.  We decided daddy should be the lion, because he's the king of the jungle, Maren wanted to be a dolphin, Joshua is a monkey, Christopher is a tiger (I told him he should be my snuggle puppy, but he wouldn't have it), and Nathan is a kangaroo.  He's in a jumping phase right now.  I'm a chicken, or mother hen, because, well, we needed to have a chicken, right?

I made a weekly assignments chart where we put each person's picture so they know what area to clean that week, and a chart with written explanations of what needs to be done in each room to be considered "clean".

Now it gets a little tricky to explain, especially for me because I'm not always good at making sense.    I wanted to encourage our kids to do all the cleaning in their area by themselves in a set amount of time, so I invented different levels of cleaning achievement. I made a chart, and after the time is up, the zoo inspector comes around to check.  Their animal picture gets put on the level they are at currently. The chart is as follows:

zoo animal: does no work
assistant groundskeeper: does less than half of the work
groundskeeper: does most of the work - gets paid 10 cents
zookeeper: does all of the work - gets paid 50 cents
animal trainer: does their work and helps others - 25 cents for each additional area

the kids were all zoo animals until the first zoo inspection

My 6 year old said right away "I want to be a zoo animal" to which I responded "Well, the zoo animals don't get to watch tv, play wii or computer, read books at bedtime, and they have to take a nap during the day and go to bed early.  They also have to wear diapers in the house." (okay, I wouldn't really enforce the last one, but it made him stop and think.)  Finding out that the zookeeper is a paid position also helped him change his mind.  Nathan, of course, will probably be stuck as a zoo animal for a long time.

I know different people have different feelings about paying their kids to help with house work.  I would like my kids to have some money that they earn and are responsible for, to help them learn to work and save, and so I wanted to give them money for a job well done.  Jason thinks room and board should be enough, but I persuaded him.  Maybe 50 cents a day is too much, and if it is, we'll cut it back.  I kind of doubt any of them will make it to zookeeper status within the first month.  They tend to glance over things and not be thorough. I'm hoping the money will help motivate them to be more careful.

I'll be the zoo inspector for now, but I think in the future I'll let them take turns going around and inspecting everyone's work to help them be more aware of what is out of place.  Maybe I'll get a fun hat or zookeeper's vest to help them play the part.

The kids were really excited when I introduced the idea, and insisted I make a map for the upstairs as well, and they wanted to name their rooms.  Maren lives in "book bay" and Joshua and Christopher live in "genius jungle".  Joshua said "Get it Christopher?  'Cuz we're geniuses!"  Sure buddy.  Who was gluing stickers onto the paper earlier?  Awww, cute kids.  Nathan lives in "kangaroo cave", because Maren says his room is small.

We'll try to do our jobs before dinnertime, or after dinner if we have too many afternoon activities. It will probably vary day by day, but hopefully this will help keep the house cleaner, help my kids learn how to work better, and be a little bit of sugar to help the medicine go down.  I'll let you know how it goes.

(for more ideas to help make cleaning fun, see this post and this post)


linked to: raising olives

Summer Reading Charts 2011

I love summer reading!  I have fond memories growing up of summer trips to the library, finding a shady spot outside to read, or spending hours in my room with a good book and a bag of candy (bad, I know, but that's how it is).  I don't remember if we had reading charts every summer growing up, but I do remember one summer when my mom was handing out prizes to Emily and Greg (my older siblings) for reading and her telling me that I was too little.  Oh, the pain!  Emily got a calligraphy set, and I don't think I even knew what that was, but it was big and I didn't get one.  I apologize to my mother that I don't remember if she did reading charts any of the other years, but that's the memory that stuck with me.  (And now you also know why my handwriting is not as nice as my sister's.)

Anyhoo, I really like making summer reading charts for our kids. Last year we had game board type charts, and this year, well, I don't know what to call it.  I guess it's kind of a "pick your prize" game.  Let me show you what I did.

First, I went to the local parent-teacher store and bought 3 packs of summer themed cut-outs.

I then printed up summer reading coupons that can be turned in for 50 or 100 points on their myjobchart.com accounts, ice cream, a prize from a prize basket, or a new book.  I made eight 50 point coupons, seven 100 point coupons, 6 ice creams, 3 new books, and 6 prizes from the prize basket for each child.

I folded the coupons and taped them on the front of the cut-outs. I made 30 for each child.

I taped the cut-outs on to the wall in our hallway and put the child's initial on the back so they could see which ones were their's to choose from.

I made a beach scene on the opposite side of the hallway that they can put the cut-out on after they pull the coupon off.

Each time a child finishes a book, they get to choose one of the cut-outs that has their initial on it, take off the coupon, and put it by their figure on the other wall.  The goal is to fill up the whole scene by the end of the summer.  I don't even know if they'll all fit, but it should be fun.  For Maren, a book has to be 150 pages to count, Joshua's have to be at least 60, and Christopher just has to read a bob book to me or do a reading activity.

The kids are really excited to start reading.  Maren told me that she gets a funny feeling in her tummy every time she walks by it and she just wants to start now.  I think it will do a good job motivating the kids to read. Maren doesn't really need help in that department, but Joshua does, and Christopher is just starting to read the Bob books, so he needs some motivation to persevere through each book.

With Maren, because she already reads so much, I'm going to write different genres or specific books on the back of her cut-outs that she must read to get that coupon to help her branch out from the fantasy books.  I'll have her read a couple biography, poetry, history, and contemporary realistc fiction books this summer.

I wish I could sit and read a hundred books this summer, but unfortunately that's not going to happen. Maren once told me "Mom, I'm sorry that I get to sit here and read so much and you just have to work".  Yup.  I'm sorry too.  Enjoy it while you can little girl.

Table Manners

My kids have awful table manners.  It's probably my fault, because sometimes I can't help but laugh when they're being silly, but it has gotten pretty bad.  They often are so silly that things get knocked over and there is a big mess on the floor afterward.  We decided we had better start training them better so they can find spouses someday.

To help encourage a change in behavior, we made a sticker chart.  I love sticker charts.  We might have a few too many sticker charts, but I think they really help kids see progress and stick to goals.  For each child we have a page with 96 squares on it.  When they fill up the sticker chart, showing they have good manners, they will get to go out to dinner with mom and dad.

At every meal, I put 2 stickers in front of each child.  When they have bad manners, I take a sticker away.  If they've lost both stickers and still have bad manners, they get asked to leave the table and sent to their room.  If it's dinner and I'm exhausted, they might get sent to bed also.  When they're done eating their meal, they clear their dishes and put their stickers on the chart.  If they forget this last step and leave the table without putting up their stickers, I just put them back with the other stickers and they don't get to put them on their chart.

I also put up a list of manners we are focusing on, and a list of things we don't do at the table, since they seem to respond to "don't touch anyone" more than "keep your hands to yourself".  Sometimes I just have to give up positivity for results.  We keep adding things to the "don't" side, and may need to add some paper there at the bottom.  The kids like adding things to our list of "don'ts" and think it's funny.  Our rules are more strict right now than I would like to be, but until they have the basics of manners down, there's no room for leniency.  I especially struggle with the "no singing at the table" rule, since I'm a fan of spontaneous singing, so we may revoke that one in the future.  Also on the don't side are things like judge others manners, wave utensils around in the air, burp loudly, complain, and lick the table.  Don't they sound like pleasant eaters?  Don't you want to invite us over for dinner?

You can probably tell from the picture which one of my children I struggle with the most.  One night Joshua started acting up right after the prayer, making burping noises as loud as he could.  I didn't want to have him leave the table since he hadn't even had a bite to eat yet, but he wouldn't stop after he had lost both stickers, so he got sent to his room and he was done.  As he was walking away from the table, my 4 year old asked if he could be done too, and I told him he needed to eat more first.  Joshua leaned over to him as he passed by and whispered "Just pretend to burp a lot and you get to leave".  So, yeah, the plan is flawed, but it has also been helping a lot.  That night I gave Maren dessert just to make Joshua realize there are benefits to eating your dinner.

Filling Our Home with Love

Since Valentine's Day is approaching, our new "be nice to each other" incentive is a little house that we are trying to fill with hearts. I made the house out of an empty square kleenex tissue box and scrapbook paper I had left over from years past when I actually thought I'd have time to scrapbook. The roof is open on the back so the kids put the hearts through the hole where the tissues came out. The hearts I'm using are foam heart stickers left over from valentine making last year. I counted out 65 and when we've put them all in, there will be a family reward.

The kindness in our home really has improved since we've started focusing on it using things like the warm fuzzy jar, happy home, and christmas tree. There are definitely bad days, but overall the children are quicker to compliment each other when we're doing a project together, to let others go first, or to cheer up a sad sibling. Eventually of course I'd like it if they would do those things just because, and not to try to earn a prize, but we've all got to start somewhere.

Articles of Faith incentive

This summer we encouraged our children (mostly Maren and Joshua, but Christopher wanted his name up there too) to memorize the articles of faith. I found some ice cream pictures on the internet and cut them out. Each time they memorize one, they get an ice cream scoop, and when they're finished, they get to go out with mommy or daddy to get any kind of ice cream or sundae they want.

Building a Happy Home

Well we finished our warm fuzzy jar, went to Gatti-Town and had a great time. Then we needed another incentive to treat each other kindly. So, we our now building a happy home. I built a simple house out of legos, took off 60 pieces and put them in a container. Now whenever the kids do something that helps build someone up, they put on a brick. If they do something that tears someone down, they take off a brick. Hopefully it won't take us as long to build our happy home as it did to fill our warm fuzzy jar.

A Spoonful of Sugar

Over the weekend, Jason and I went on a much needed vacation to New York where we saw "Mary Poppins" on broadway. It was so much fun. As I was watching them sing "a spoonful of sugar" I was thinking how true it was that the kids are so much more cooperative with the cleaning if I can turn it into a game. Unfortunately I am unable to snap my fingers and make things clean up by themselves, but I thought I would write down a few of the things we do to make cleaning more palatable.

1- good doggies

For some reason my kids LOVE to pretend to be dogs. They also love doggie treats. So when it's clean up time, I give each doggy an assignment, and when it's done they come begging for a mini marshmallow treat. If it was an especially big job they might get a couple. Then I give them a new job and they crawl off barking merrily.

2- secret missions

Sometimes we pretend my kids are super spies and they come to me and I whisper a secret mission in their ear. When they've completed the task, they come back to get their new mission. If it's a big mess, I'll just whisper a number into their ear, and they come back after they've picked up that many things. The kids like to tease each other that they heard the other person's number while I was whispering.

3- rotations

This works well when we're doing deeper cleaning rather than just picking up. We choose 3 things that need to be done and each start at a station (I team up with my 3 y.o. because he can't do the jobs on his own yet). I set the timer for 5 minutes then we clean that spot until the timer goes off and then we switch jobs. This way nobody gets stuck doing the worst job by themselves. We listen to music while we clean and have fun.

4- Annie or Cinderella

I like this one because I get to put my mean face on. I'm Miss Hannigan or the wicked step-mother and I tell them in my nastiest voice to clean up "'til this dump shines like the top of the chrysler building!" There's usually a bit of "It's a hard knock life" singing and dramatic sighing by Maren.

(That's me making my Miss Hannigan face while pointing at the Chrysler building. Pretty scary, huh?)

5- Work Jar and Fun Jar

I stole this idea from my sister Emily. Sometimes on Saturdays when we have a lot to do to get ready for Sunday, we'll write down all the jobs to get done on slips of paper and stick them in a jar. Then we'll write some fun things we can do together (like play a card game, play the wii, go for a walk) on slips of paper and put them in a different jar. We then take turns pulling out a slip from the work jar, doing that job, and then pulling out something from the fun jar as a reward for good work. The kids respond well to this one and Joshua sometimes even asks "can we play work jar/ fun jar today?"

Warm Fuzzies

I'm not claiming this as an original idea, but it's something we've been doing at our house to try and help with the sibling relationships. We have a large jar we call the "warm fuzzy jar" which the kids are trying to fill up with pom-poms. Each time I hear them say nice things to each other, or treat each other patiently, or share nicely, or let someone else take the first turn, or anything I tell them makes me feel "warm and fuzzy" inside, they get to put in a pom-pom. Whenever someone hits or gets in a big fight, or yells, etc . . . they have to take out a warm fuzzy. Once the jar is full, we are going to take them out to Gatti Town for dinner and games. I only use it for how they treat each other, not how they respond to their parents.

It was a struggle to get going at first, and it took about a month before I noticed an improvement, but I would say it has definitely helped the kids be more aware of how they are treating each other. We do have really bad days where we end up taking out more than putting in. But then there are days where they get on a roll, and I'm hearing lots of compliments and lots of "you go first", sometimes followed by a glance at me to see if I'll reward them for it. I tell them they definitely don't get to put one in if they ask to put one in, and so they just stare at me for recognition sometimes. It's not a perfect plan, but it's helped.